I write a lot about how amazing France is.
And it is amazing.
The food, the beauty, the rhythm, the reverence for long lunches and longer vacations - we moved here over two years ago and never looked back.
But today, I thought we’d pause the poetry and take a quick stroll down another lane. Not a complaint alley, just…a few streets I’ve chosen not to walk down. At least not yet.
Because while I love integrating into French life, there are a handful of cultural habits I just can’t seem to adopt.
And yes, I know things might shift over time. But for now, these are the areas where my American roots are still holding firm. Possibly with a home-brewed kombucha in hand.
1. The After-School Baguette with Chocolate
Ah yes, the sacred goûter - the iconic French after-school snack.
It’s traditional, it’s nostalgic, it’s charming. But it’s also…bread and chocolate.
Every day. For kids. Right after school.
As much as I adore the idea of a baguette tucked under the arm and a square of chocolate in the hand, my American wellness conditioning kicks in. I just can’t bring myself to pump my kids full of refined carbs and sugar at 4:30 p.m. every single day. Even if (and it’s true) the bread here is 10,000 times better.
Call me Californian. Call me boring. But we’ll be sticking to our fruit, nuts, and the occasional almond butter, thanks.
2. Dinner at 10 p.m.
I get it - the sun sets late, meals are social, life is slower. But eating dinner at ten o’clock at night? That’s when I want to be brushing my teeth, not slicing into a steak.
We’re not overly rigid about bedtimes in our house - I even wrote a whole post about how French kids don’t go to bed at 7 p.m., and why that’s actually kind of lovely. But there’s a difference between flexibility and midnight dinners. Our bodies still run on American circadian rhythms and sleep charts, and honestly, I like it that way.
Dinner at 6 or 7, kids in bed by (around) 8, adults asleep by 10:30.
Revolutionary for the French? Maybe. But it’s one revolution I’m not stepping off of.
3. The No A/C Lifestyle
Yes, I know - I’ve also written about this before. The French relationship to air conditioning is almost philosophical. They believe in natural airflow. In trusting the breeze. In building homes that breathe.
But let me tell you something: when you’re pregnant in August, or trying to sleep through a heatwave with two sweaty toddlers - “natural” doesn’t cut it.
We do have A/C. We use it sparingly. And I will never, ever feel bad about it.
(Especially after learning some maternity wards here don’t have it. These women deserve medals.)
4. Smoking & Vaping Everywhere
Right, this one’s a biggie. Smoking and vaping in public is very common here - cigarettes on café terraces, vapes at bus stops, smoke drifting across parks. And while I respect the culture and the slower, more relaxed vibe, this one’s just not for me.
To be clear: France is actively trying to reduce tobacco and nicotine use. A new ban starting July 1, 2025 has outlawed smoking in parks, near schools, on beaches, and other outdoor spaces where children gather. Data show that while adult smoking rates have remained near 29 % in recent years, the downward trend is real.
Even with France cracking down, cigarettes and vapes still seem to drift through daily life like background music. I’ve simply learned to change the station. My air stays clear, my garden smoke‑free, and my lungs blissfully provincial (the California province, that is).
5. Whisper Culture
When we first arrived, I genuinely thought everyone was whispering about me behind my back.
Turns out, they just speak very quietly. Especially in stores. At first, I’d ask my husband where the peanut butter was in my normal speaking voice - only to realize I was essentially screaming in French terms. In France, speaking at an American volume makes you feel like you’re doing stand-up in the frozen food aisle.
Even at school, my son told me his class gives out a “superhero award” at the end of each day…to the quietest child. Naturally, the same sweet girl won it every day. She was quiet as a mouse.
I told my son not to worry about that particular honor. While we’ve found a nice middle ground, I still believe in a little joyful volume. A well-placed, hearty Julia Roberts laugh. A healthy “bonjour!” A whisper is fine, but a whisper with confidence, please.
6. No Screens on Windows
Let me say this louder, at my American volume (into the mosquito cloud): There are no window screens here. Like, anywhere.
In France, the windows open wide, and the bugs waltz right in. It’s charming…until it isn’t. Until your child leaves the front door open and your bedroom becomes a moth rave. Until you’re swatting mosquitoes at 2 a.m. like a medieval knight.
I love the unobstructed view, but I also love not being bitten alive. Or not playing host to a commune of flies. So yes, we’ve installed screens. And no, I don’t regret it.
7. Websites That Look Like 1998
I’m not trying to be rude. But most French websites look like someone’s nephew built them during a dial-up era computer class.
Some are non-existent. And some are just HTML chaos with Comic Sans sprinkled in like it’s chic.
I’ve learned to lower expectations, double-check hours over the phone, and mentally prepare for digital disappointment. If you can’t beat them, just refresh the page and whisper a prayer to the Wi-Fi gods.
Vive la Difference
Let me be clear - none of these are dealbreakers. They’re not even criticisms, really. Just honest observations from an American who’s doing her best to adapt, but still needs working A/C, a decent website, and screens on her windows.
I love this country. I love what it’s taught me. And I love that I get to choose what to keep and what to politely decline.
Cultural immersion doesn’t have to mean total identity erasure.
And if that means I’m the mom packing carrot sticks while the other kids snack on baguette-chocolate sandwiches?
So be it.
À bientôt,
Kamille
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I have to ask, not trying to be rude but, you are worried about your children eating chocolate and bread everyday? Were you as concerned while living in America, about all of the food additives in our food? Europe has banned most of them. First off that chocolate and bread is probably much healthier than the food choices made every day here in America. European chocolate also contains way less sugar. When I am visiting family and friends there, I eat healthier than I do at home. Just my 2 cents🥰 but I do agree with you on the other points!
This post made me smile. I am a European living in the US and could list these items in reverse. Not eating processed food is nearly unaffordable. The horrible bread they try to bake. The lack of real charcuterie, the over-sugared cakes and sweets, or the horrible tasting chocolates. The windows that can either not open; or, when they do, you slide the bottom over the top and they are impossible to clean. You have to climb on a ladder to clean them from the outside. Air conditioning is a must during summer but the recycling of dust is rather unhealthy. Stuffy nose is a given during those months. Nobody likes to walk, everybody drives the car even for 100 meters. And, getting a friendly "hi" from a neighbor is hard to find.
Like you, I am not complaining, it's just a list of things I find hard to adapt to. I do like living here, but every time I visit Europe I stuff myself with their good food and walk the countryside and farmer's markets with gusto.