So very true and well written, thanks for sharing! It’s such a refreshing way of realising what is important in life. I didn’t have a job for over ten years when living in France. It was never an issue as I would still have a lot to talk about with my French friends. However, when we visited Holland and people’s second or third question was what I did for a living, it would make me feel so awkward. I was busy doing things, just not earning money for it. But I didn’t want to make my activities bigger or more glamorous than they were. It often made me feel like a looser, as in Holland, too, your identity is much related to your job. And I definitely prefer the French way, as there is so much more in life to talk about and get to know the real person.
Ten years without a job being an issue in France - that tells you everything about how differently work fits into identity here. The Holland visit sounds like culture shock in reverse, which is its own kind of valuable information. Thank you for sharing this.
We went through this for months and then when we finally found out it felt almost anticlimactic. The mystery was better. Sleep well - or don't, wondering. 😄
I agree! The mystery is better, by far. I don’t know why Americans do this … it’s so entrenched in us, we even wonder it about people we don’t even know. 🤷♀️😂
This is really a European (and beyond) difference between Europe (and beyond) and North America. It’s not especially French. My mother - from Eastern Europe - thought it was another sign of North American (in our case, Canadian) lack of culture. It is better not to ask, at least not right away. Let it come up naturally. The other side of this of course is I find Americans are often desperately eager to tell you about their work.
I love this! Coming from Australia, I understand what you mean about "what do you do?", it's very similar to what you describe in the US. It's also such a boring way of learning about someone.
Love this post!!! So spot-on and inspirational. Here is my favorite part:
"And what a gift it is—to meet someone and discover who they are before what they do."
Definitely, a better way to live.
Thanks so much, Lynn! It’s truly been eye-opening and we feel like we’re entering into an entirely new chapter here. A chapter of discovery and ease.
It's a process, not a product. Enjoy the journey. Lex
Thank you, Lex. It’s good to have those reminders 😊
Buddhists say that we are human beings, not human doings...
Lex
The buddhists said it perfectly. I’m working on adopting this, slowly but surely. Healing my inner career-obsessed-American one day at a time 😂
So very true and well written, thanks for sharing! It’s such a refreshing way of realising what is important in life. I didn’t have a job for over ten years when living in France. It was never an issue as I would still have a lot to talk about with my French friends. However, when we visited Holland and people’s second or third question was what I did for a living, it would make me feel so awkward. I was busy doing things, just not earning money for it. But I didn’t want to make my activities bigger or more glamorous than they were. It often made me feel like a looser, as in Holland, too, your identity is much related to your job. And I definitely prefer the French way, as there is so much more in life to talk about and get to know the real person.
Ten years without a job being an issue in France - that tells you everything about how differently work fits into identity here. The Holland visit sounds like culture shock in reverse, which is its own kind of valuable information. Thank you for sharing this.
I’m reading this before bed and now I’m laying here staring at the ceiling and wondering what your friends do for a living. 😂
We went through this for months and then when we finally found out it felt almost anticlimactic. The mystery was better. Sleep well - or don't, wondering. 😄
I agree! The mystery is better, by far. I don’t know why Americans do this … it’s so entrenched in us, we even wonder it about people we don’t even know. 🤷♀️😂
It's true! When you reach the point of actually talking about work it's intimacy level 😀
Exactly! Like the friendship equivalent of second base!
I loved this! What an interesting (and wonderful) concept!
Thank you, Caroline! It’s been a joy to write about, and a trip to experience 😂
I guess a good question would be “what do you love to do?” Or “what gives you great satisfaction in your life?”
For me, that would be writing. Now that it’s my “job” rather than the old 9 to 5, I feel like I won the life happiness lottery.
Really enjoying your essays. Thanks for giving me a glimpse of your intriguing life.
This is really a European (and beyond) difference between Europe (and beyond) and North America. It’s not especially French. My mother - from Eastern Europe - thought it was another sign of North American (in our case, Canadian) lack of culture. It is better not to ask, at least not right away. Let it come up naturally. The other side of this of course is I find Americans are often desperately eager to tell you about their work.
This is ‘extraordinaire’ - I so need this. Thank you, Kamille!
I love this! Coming from Australia, I understand what you mean about "what do you do?", it's very similar to what you describe in the US. It's also such a boring way of learning about someone.
Loved this one, Kamille!